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| Goodbye PILAT, hello SPLICE! |
The SPLICE portion of training is well under way, with all the emotional baggage and introspection that one can imagine. This past week, we participated in activities and lectures that touched upon issues of culture shock, family relationships, and conflict style.
I particularly enjoyed learning about the various conflict style categories into which people fall. After learning about each of these styles, and finding out who fell into which category, I understood a lot about why people act the way they do.
Turtle
Turtles don't like conflict, and they avoid it as much as possible. They withdraw and deny that there is even a problem. They can be of benefit when trivial issues come up that really don't need the drama. However, they can leave tensions unresolved, which causes them to build up over time.
Teddy Bear
Teddy bears are those selfless people who put peace and resolution before their own goals and desires. In order to create harmony, they agree with everyone else and hide their own opinions. While they are wonderful for preserving relationships during conflict, they can likely harbor resentment that can lead to more conflict.
Shark
Sharks are driven to come to resolutions as quickly as possible. They step up and make decisions for the group when no one else is willing. However, they can be very abrasive, putting their own agenda ahead of friends' opinions and feelings.
Owl
This is the category I fell into. Owls tend to be a little obsessive over finding the perfect balance between decision making and relationship keeping. They want everyone to be a winner, and will consume everyone's time and energy to come up with the "perfect plan." Owls can burn people out, and tend to spend time on issues that are pretty trivial.
The interesting thing about the owl group is that we can't exist on the mission field. Robin, our SPLICE instructor, told us that it isn't realistic to spend countless hours analyzing the smallest of issues when we will have so many responsibilities and problems to tackle. Much to our dismay, we owls had to choose our second closest category. From this secondary category, we will look at how we should interact with others during conflict.
Foxes
My next closest category for conflict management was that of the fox. This is the style that I will, naturally, most likely take on while out on the mission field. Foxes are all about compromise. They believe that everyone must give and take for a sensible solution to be made. They are considerate enough to ask for the opinions of the meek teddy bears and turtles, but understand that, at the end of the day, a decision must be made. The problem with foxes is that they tend to create solutions in which everyone must give a little something up. This results in a lack of passion in the game plan-- it all seems very mediocre.
I really enjoyed discussing these different categories of people. Even more enjoyable was the time each animal group took to affirm the other. We foxes sat across the teddy bears and told them what we respected about them, what we could never do as foxes. The teddy bears did the same to us. All this is very emotional and sappy, I know, but I believe that it is important to be building up a heart of gratitude and humble reliance on those around us. This will be key once I'm out of my element in South Sudan.
God has been good to give me friends here who I trust and I feel I can be vulnerable around. That's good, since these friends have been all the more willing to ask the difficult, probing questions that can get at the root of who I am and where I need encouragement. I am very grateful for them.
Philippians 4:12,13- I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.
