Overcome Evil with Good

I don’t know if this has something to do with having many male teammates and having just watched Batman Begins or if this is something God is wanting me to focus on (perhaps both), but I have recently been struck by Romans 12:21 when Paul says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”  I’ve been dwelling on the reality of both good and evil in the world and questioning my role in that duality. 

Having just returned from a rejuvenating retreat in Kampala, I thought I’d enter Mundri Town ready to dig deep into the mire of broken systems, sin, sickness, and poverty.  Unfortunately, I had forgotten just how deep these pits are, and how much I hate to get my fingers dirty.  Early our first morning back, our team was called to drive a laboring woman to the clinic.  The baby ended up dying and the woman was driven to the hospital to receive further care.  Sadly, this is a way of life in S. Sudan.  I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve stayed awake listening to the monotonous beating of a funeral drum at a nearby compound.  It quickly becomes background noise, like chirping crickets or scraping tree branches along the roof of my tukul. 

My sense of futility here in S. Sudan has been stronger than ever, and I don’t know if it will ever completely dissipate.  However, I have found hope in God’s word, as it exhorts me to continually show love, despite all circumstances, in the pursuit of all that is good.  Romans 12 reads,

Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good… be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Share with God’s people who are in need.  Practice hospitality… Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 

I have seen so much love since I’ve returned to Mundri.  Our neighbors greet us with open arms and invite us into their homes for a meal.  The teachers at Kotobi smile from ear to ear and joke with us like we are old friends.  My friends in town sit beside me, wanting to hear EVERYTHING about my time in Kampala.  People are still offering puppies to Gaby and Liana, who lost their dog over a month ago.  The people in Mundri know pain.  They know sadness and destruction and still choose love everyday.  They trust that the Lord will bring them out of the mire and they keep on moving.  Maybe that is how evil is defeated—simply by clinging to Good in the face of evil.    

The night is nearly over; the day is almost here.  So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

-Romans 13:12

Part of the Promise

South Sudan Team, Fall, 2012!

     The past two weeks comprised my team’s covenant renewal retreat, held in various parts of Kampala, Uganda.  During this time we discussed the vision of our team, what each individual’s role is, and how we can work together as humble and loving stewards.  Of course we did all of this in the setting of lovely Uganda, taking time to jog through the hilly streets, climb high ropes in the treetops, boat on Lake Victoria, and lounge beside the scenic pool. The past two weeks have felt more like play than work; however, that was the intention, given that missionaries can quickly become overwhelmed with their tasks on the field.  The needs that we face in Africa each day are great, and it is easy to become discouraged, wondering if we are doing anything worthwhile.  It is also easy to start doubting God’s plan when we don’t see the fruit that we would like to see when we want to see it.  I’ll admit that in my human pride I can think I have a better plan for my Moru friends than the Lord has.  I struggle to see God’s faithfulness toward many groups of people in this part of the world.

     I was very grateful to hear truth from God’s word through Pastor Michael Howell during the retreat.  He taught from the book of Joshua, focusing on God’s promises to us and how we are designed for His purpose each day.  If I think my job here in S. Sudan is difficult, I can’t even imagine having the task that was placed on Joshua’s shoulders.  He had to take on Moses’ job of guiding the Israelites to the Promised Land.  He had to lead the people out of Jericho, past the king’s army, and through the River Jordan.  The book reiterates God’s promises throughout the story, as an impetus for Joshua’s action.  Joshua realizes that the work of the Lord isn’t founded on the skilled decisions of man, but on His solid promises.  If God had been faithful to Moses, He would continue to be faithful to the Israelites—and so Joshua acts.   

     I think that’s where it all starts to fall apart for me. I’ve heard Biblical stories of God’s goodness since I was a child, but it is difficult for me to connect that God with the God of today.  I somehow feel like the game has changed, and God works differently with me. Throughout the week I was convicted of my lack of conviction.  When do I ever act boldly after hearing strong testimony (like the brave Rahab did)?  When do I think back on God’s goodness to Abraham and Joseph and Moses and become “strong and courageous”?  When do I even think back on God’s goodness in just the past week?

     God has called me to be a part of His exciting work on Earth—what a joy to be a part of that!  I can either trust in His covenant and commit to that work—or not.  Regardless of what I do, God’s promises will come to fruition; but why wouldn’t I want to be a part of the excitement that comes with God’s power being manifest in the farthest reaches of the globe? 

     The Israelites who died just after reaching the Promised Land were buried in that very region they sought after so fervently.  My first reaction is to feel disappointed for those who didn’t get to enjoy life on their new land, after all their hard work and journeying.  Pastor Mike, however, gave a different perspective, reminding us that “their tombstones were monuments to the faithfulness of God.”  I wonder if I will ever have the faith to really view tombstones as monuments of faithfulness.  Until then, I will continue to look for those little stones in my life, the ones on the other side of the stormy seas in my life, the ones that speak of God’s power, goodness, and faithfulness here on earth.  

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9 

R & R

   
     Tomorrow the team is heading off to the big city of Kampala, Uganda for team meetings and a retreat.  Keep us in your prayers as we discuss our team dynamics, the future of our work here in S. Sudan, and how we can best serve our God and the people of Mundri.  I'm so excited to finally get to explore Kampala, hoping that I can hit up many good coffee shops, buy some gifts for my friends and family, and indulge in some superb Indian food.  I can't wait!

The Token "Seasons Change" Post

Celebrating, fall style, for my 28'th birthday!

    

    I’m missing the seasonal change going on right now in my home state of Virginia.  This is the time when the leaves become infused with fiery colors, lighting up the forests with their warmth.  They fall to the ground in crunchy piles and smell like a vintage earth.  I love how the sky is a deep blue, and the air is just brisk enough to keep me outside and moving (hopefully moving from harvest festival, to apple orchard, to local winery…).  This time of year is a lovely repose before the awfulness of a Virginia winter, with its icy rain and erratic temperature swings.  I hold onto the season for as long as possible, in hopes of prolonging the weather-induced peace that is Autumn. 

     The season is changing here in Mundri, as well, though not in the same way as back in the states.  Lulu tree leaves are eaten away by droves of fuzzy caterpillars and, in time, the trees become skeletons.  The rest of the greenery is slowly dwindling down to withered branches.  Those of us on the team get caked in red dirt after riding bikes to and from town.  It gets in our mouths, under our nails, and coats our hair.  And the temperatures rise… and rise.  Yes, we are starting to feel the effects of an African dry season.  Granted, I have only been given a small taste of it, but I’m preparing myself for (what I have been told is) a considerably long season of monotony in climate.  The dry season typically goes from November until April.  Although it is hot, many people prefer it to the rainy season.  There are no unexpected rain showers to raise the river levels and muddy the roads, impeding travel.  There is less death, as fewer people struggle with infections and malaria. People can even spend time outside under the stars without having to worry about mosquitoes eating them alive. I’m glad to have a break from the daily downpours we’ve been getting here in Mundri; however, I know I will miss the beauty of a violent African storm. 

     I’ve also been feeling a change in myself during this time—a sensation that a new season in my Mundri life is approaching.  The Lord has been giving me increased boldness to step out into the Moru community and meet new people, ask more questions, and offer more of my skills.  The World Harvest team has recently been preparing for our upcoming vision retreat, in which we will discuss where we see the team and its S. Sudanese partnerships headed in the future.  My head has been swarming with ideas of how I can use my God-given passions and gifts to bless the community here.  I’d love to start a children’s worship service at a nearby church and train teens and young adults to keep it going.  I want to have frequent film showings in the town centre for all to enjoy; we could train some of the students at the theological college in the audio/visual setup so they could partner with us and have a greater sense of ownership in the event.  I want to hold more teacher trainings. I want to start journalism and creative writing clubs at secondary schools. I want to foster a creative and critical mindset in the young people here.  I want to start Bible studies.  I want to give generously.  I want to do a lot of things. 

     The key is discerning which of these projects will benefit the people of Mundri and which are just pipe dreams—ambitions that Jennifer Disse has to puff herself up and make herself feel useful and important in the world.  God has given me a passion and energy for serving the people of South Sudan for a reason.  His gifts are not in vain.  However, I must keep my overwhelming sense of self in check, as I go about making great plans of all that I want to do.  Without the Lord, I can do nothing.  I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon the other day and he asked the simple question, “What gets you out of bed in the morning?”  If it isn’t the love of Jesus Christ, there needs to be some reevaluation of my goals and priorities.  I’ll admit that, since I’ve been in S. Sudan, I’ve been urged more by a sense of obligation and pride than the overwhelming love of Christ.  I want more of that in my heart as I plan my work here.  Even the most well thought out community projects can fail.  Economical and developmental experts from around the globe can congregate and establish plans for the future aid of the world’s newest country.  The only thing that I’m certain will continue after the last NGO has left South Sudan is the love of Jesus Christ for the people here.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy,

to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God...

-Romans 12:1