Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Letting it Simmer

Exploring the beauty of Jinja, Uganda



       It has been a restless week back in Mundri.  After leaving behind the cool air, mountainous terrain, and rushing rapids of Uganda, I have returned to a dry and dusty S. Sudan, with only a couple teammates around.  I have been worried about teammate Larissa, who is still recovering from malaria in Kenya, with Bethany and Heidi.  The guys are not around, still spending time in Uganda.  Melissa is still back in the states.  With the absence of people on the compound, comes an increased presence of the much-despised goats.  These beasts must have all reproduced in the week while I was gone, because there are now well over twenty grazing on our land.  I hear them at the crack of dawn, clopping around in the leaves behind my tukul, bleating and spitting and making other disturbing noises that I never thought goats could make.  They linger in the bathroom, on the porch of the team house, over by the clothesline.  They are everywhere, and I hate them.  
       Besides the goats, I’ve been having difficult interactions with people in town.  My Moru and Arabic learning has stalled and I find myself wanting to cut corners and simply speak in English with people.  It feels like I’ve been gone for over a month, and the faces that once felt so warm and familiar are now feel strange and difficult to relate to— the downfall of spending time off in a busy, westernized city.  I’m letting the small things get to me and lower my morale.  The other day, I was carrying a heavy load of groceries on the back of my bike and it spilled out onto the road, in front of a crowd watching a football match.  It was pretty entertaining… for them.  Today, on my way to church, I went through the round-about the wrong way and got stopped by a soldier.  He commanded that I give him twenty pounds on the spot, and when I told him I didn’t have the money, he tried to take my bike away from me.  Luckily, a man from my church helped me get by since it was my “first offense.”
       And on top of it all, there is the heat.  Oh, this heat.  It is more debilitating than I thought it would be.  Around midday, I cease to do anything—I cannot read, cannot plan lessons, cannot walk up to the office to use the internet.  I cannot even take a nap, because I’m too uncomfortable having hot air blowing on my face through the windows in my tukul.   I’m hoping my body’s in shock, having just come from the mild temperatures of Uganda.  If not, I have a long season ahead of me.  
       During this time, I’ve been reminded of all the outlets God gives me for when work is getting the better of me.  I’ve recently had more time to write, delving into stories and characters that I haven’t looked at for months.  It has been a welcomed escape, and allows me to focus my mind in a positive direction.  I’ve also been embracing the importance of running in my life.  Always a good idea, running is the most cathartic thing for me to do.  A small running trail cuts along the outskirts of the compound, shaded by clusters of overhanging trees.  At times, these woods look more like those of North America than South Sudan, and here I can run as fast as a can, pretending to escape into the Blue Ridge Mountains on an (unreasonably) warm fall day.  I’ll sprint over the crunchy leaves, trying to not think about all the neighboring snakes and will run and run until I can’t run any more.  Then I’ll stand on top of the rocky mound at the edge of the woods and watch the glowing sun melt into the horizon.  
        Of course, the Lord always has His word available for me, whether I am ready for it or not. There are so many days when I’ve opened the Bible half-heartedly, expecting nothing to bring me relief from my emotional fatigue.  It is then that I am confronted with the wonderful truths of God’s constant power and love and my own insignificant, waning emotions.  After a few minutes of gained perspective and gained Christ-strength, I start to see through the haze my own frustrations.  I gratefully realize that I am living out my dream job—it’s only that I’ve just returned from a great vacation and have a bad case of the Mondays.         

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.
-James 1:2-4

Friday, February 1, 2013

Mary's Place



Neighbor Martin, playing under the mango tree

Last Saturday I found myself powering down the red sandy road, my brown satchel full of all the necessary supplies—toilet paper, water, sunscreen, Cliff bar, hand sanitizer, garden tools.  I did not want to be found lacking anything for my first solo workday at Okari church.  Since Melissa has gone back to the states, I have been the sole kawaja in the congregation.  The churches here in Mundri have church workdays on a regular basis, in which members of the congregation meet to weed, plant, harvest, pick, build, or do any other kind of outdoor labor one could possibly imagine.  This particular Saturday, Okari church would be making bricks that would be used on a church office.  I was overjoyed to have a chance to hang out with people in the community, while enjoying the peaceful monotony of molding chunks of mud into rectangular blocks one after the other.  On top of that, I’ve been feeling the need to pull more of my weight, show that I can be a valued member of the community, for a reason other than the color of my skin.  I couldn’t wait to get to church and prove that I could earn my stay.    
Shortly before reaching church, I rode by my friend Mary’s compound, looking at her tukul door to see if she was up for the day.  I was happy to see that her door was open, and I found her hovering over the fire, stoking it with pieces of coal.  “Awadiya!  Salaam miro!” I greeted, riding up the hill into the open center of her compound.  “Jonnifa! Kef?”  She was glad to have a surprise visit at the start of her day.  As I parked my bike under the shade of a mango tree, I explained how excited I was to help make bricks at church.  She then informed me that (as usual) I had gotten the dates wrong, and the event that I had so eagerly planned for was not happening this morning. 
This is the regular routine in Africa—plan for an event and then wait and wait until you find out that it really isn’t going to happen.  The lack of structure and the unpredictability I’ve faced in church-led events has been cause of frustration.  However, this day, the Holy Spirit was good to keep me content, and I decided I would spend my day with my friend.
She pulled over for me a plastic chair, the nice one used for guests, and started to prepare some tea for me.  African tea is amazing—the women put in fresh herbs and lots of sugar and serve it scalding hot.  This day, Mary made me some lemongrass tea, moving the teapot with her bare hands to make sure it was over the hottest coals.  She had made these coals from wood on her own compound.  When she is stretched financially and cannot afford to purchase things from the market she must make do with the resources around her home and garden.  As Mary went off into the grass to bathe, I was stuck with the unfortunate task of watching over the tea.  Before long, it started to boil over, and I frantically grabbed some tissues from my purse to use for gripping the pot.  They didn’t work so well, and I abruptly set the burning teapot on the ground.  Mary (and an onlooking neighbor girl) laughed as I attempted to place the teapot back into a better spot on the fire.  More tea just spilled out as the pot tilted against the coals.  Luckily for me, the Moru people are gracious towards the kawaja women like me who still have “man hands.” (In Moru culture, the women do all the tough labor, so the people with weak hands are said to have “man hands.”)
Mary and I enjoyed catching up over some mandazi (fried dough) and lemongrass tea.  We talked about the previous week, travel plans, people’s health, and the current weather, switching back and forth between Arabic and English at random times.  She has always been good to let me spit out my broken Arabic phrases, restating them in the correct way when I get them wrong.  It is a blessing to live in a culture that appreciates any sort of attempt at speaking the native language.  There’s no judgment, no condescension, when I fail to get the words right.  There may be some laughter—but humor and humility are necessary when learning a new language. 
As the day went on, Mary was ready for a little more English practice, so we sat on a mat of reeds under the mango tree and read from the Jesus Storybook Bible.  This book, with its succinct narration and vivid pictures, is extremely popular here in Mundri.  The team gave out one for each primary school this past year at teacher training. (Thank you, Liberti church in Philly!) I’m hoping to give out more in the future.  We read the story of Rachel and Leah, entitled, “The Girl No One Wanted.” The story focuses on how God uses the seemingly unaffecting, awkward people to help make His kingdom come. It was encouraging to read, as I live and work in a foreign country, unsure of how I’m really helping my Moru friends, unsure of what the future holds for me.


While we were reading, a woman and her three children came by to get some medicine.  Mary is the official neighborhood dispensary.  Sick people come to her to prescribe the appropriate dosage and give it for a limited fee.  This time, the children and mother were visiting for a simple antihistamine, which Mary gave by crushing up and putting into milk, which was forced into the children’s mouths.  I looked through the Jesus Storybook Bible with the oldest girl, pointing out things she might recognize and describing them in Arabic.  She was mesmerized. 
I left Mary’s compound completely satisfied with the day the Lord had given me.  It wasn’t what I had planned, and I didn’t get to “earn my keep” by working in the churchyard.  However, I was reminded how this day, just like every day spent in S. Sudan, the Lord is giving me the desires of my heart.  I got to ride my bike down a familiar African road, watching the sun streak through the clouds that seem to stretch out into eternity.  I got to speak English and native tongue to someone vastly different than myself, and still feel a heart connection.  I got to talk about America, explaining that, although life there seems much happier, it is merely “different.”  I spent a day in the reality of things I only dreamt about long ago.  And I needn’t worry about all my good works--- Jesus has already earned my keep for me.    

With Mary (Awadiya) at Okari church on Christmas

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.


-Psalm 37:4