Theology and Film

Nate Clarke's Vimeo Page

   
     A couple nights ago I got to hear documentary filmmaker Nate Clarke speak about his work and the art of storytelling.  It was refreshing to see the work of someone who is so passionate about capturing people's lives and sharing their stories.  He had a lot to say about film today-- most of which, I agreed with.  Like me, he is frustrated with the "Christian" film industry.  It has pretty much isolated itself, creating predictable plots with neatly wrapped up endings that are saturated in an agenda.  Granted, these popular Christian films with a strong message do have a place and can be effective; however, I long for some innovative individuals to step forward and produce films that raise theological questions without cramming an agenda down people's throats.

      At the end of his talk, Nate exhorted us to be better patrons of the arts, to go out and invest in it, instead of staying in our homes and trying to download it for free.  It isn't a lucrative business, the documentary film industry.  (I guess not many jobs in the arts are) Many people tend to make excuses for not investing in the arts because looking through another's frame of reference and belief system can be uncomfortable.  I believe that people are impressionable and we must monitor our intake; however, we will never understand those around us if we don't turn and look at things from their perspective.  It certainly doesn't mean we have to agree with everything we see, but we owe it to others to listen-- after all, I want people to give my point of view a chance.

Art 180 love! Monument Avenue looks great!

Crooked Beauty

On this note, a particularly unique film festival is coming to Richmond in May.  Here is the site.  I'm excited to get the chance to see some good films that focus on individuals with disabilities.

On Forgiveness

eye for an eye: always seems like a good idea on film

 
       All signs the past couple of weeks have been pointing me to forgiveness (against much refusal and stubborn denial on my part).  If someone told me I have problems forgiving, I would initially reject this accusation.  I honestly don't have a lot of conflict with people, so I can quickly assume I forgive and forget rather easily.  However, once you start bringing in words like, "anger, bitterness, and rage" I start to wonder, "how much do I hold onto?"  The more I have been dwelling on this topic, the more the Lord has been revealing to me the extent of my bitterness and anger, and my refusal to forgive as the Lord calls me to forgive.
     As someone who is a moral "striver," I tend to ignore or suppress feelings of anger and replace them with more appropriate words like, "worry" or "sadness." I forget that God has created all emotions and they are not intrinsically bad.  Anger can be okay if it is out of defense for something good (but not okay if it is out of defense for my ego or my agenda).  However, I tend to take things a little too far, dwelling on words said, (or, even worse, words unsaid) and I become imprisoned to these interactions until my own personal sense of "justice" has been achieved.
     It is a complete reversal of the gospel, a complete rejection of the grace that the Lord has so generously lavished upon me.  Given my prideful nature, it is just so very difficult to forgive.  Tim Keller says, "When you forgive, that means you absorb the loss... All forgiveness, then, is costly."  My tendency is to run away from emotional pain, to ignore the hurts for as long as humanly possible (or at least until a deeper wound has been made).  Even more difficult, is forgiving when offenders show no sign of remorse or changed behavior.  "The nerve!" I think to myself, shooting emotional daggers in their direction.  I don't even pause to think about my own unchanged, sinful behavior, or my own self-righteousness in pointing out their flaws.
   "Those who are forgiven much, love much."  It all comes down to my ignorance of my own sin.  If I saw my sin as it really was, I would be more grateful of the forgiveness I have been given each and every day.  In that heart of gratitude, I could more easily absorb the pain and forgive others.  I'm just thankful I have the Holy Spirit to help me in this, because I'm pretty much a mess.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

- Ephesians 4:31,32        

Oh, Lisbeth Salander, how you do love your revenge.

Reality Check

"silly" group photo

     I knew it would be difficult transitioning from MTI in Colorado to life back in Richmond.  After five weeks, I had gotten a routine, a rhythm, a sense of safety among the 45 adults and 25 kids at the training center.  Life was a near-Utopia, filled with spiritual affirmations, games, journaling, and all the hot chocolate and Celestial Seasonings I could want!  I conversed with like-minded people who are going through the same mental trials I have been sifting through.  I was given tools that I will use for the rest of my life-- tools that teach me to step outside of myself and humbly, graciously enter other people's worlds.  Most important, it was a month in which I could allow the Holy Spirit to move freely in me, without having the usual death grip I have on my wants,  my plans, and myself.
     There were so many times during training that God revealed His character and Truth to me.  Sometimes it was through my time in the classroom; other times, it was through the honest words of a friend.  However, the Lord spoke to me the most clearly through His Word.  One time that stands out was when the group practiced a Sabbath day, resting and reading scripture.  I dwelled upon Matthew 11:28, 29.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy

and my burden is light. 

      This is scripture that I have read many times over throughout my life; however, it never had much of an impact on me.  It all seemed pretty obvious to me, and I always glossed over it, without really reflecting on if I believed it or not.  During my time of reflection at MTI, I was hit hard with the reality of how much I try to do things my way, thinking it is the easy way.  If I just gave it all up to the Lord, the burdens that have been weighing so heavily on me would be lifted.  I finally got a taste of living under this new reality, and I wanted more and more of it.  

      Of course, it is easy giving over control to the Lord when you are stuck in a retreat center, contemplating life with dozens of other Christians.  Now that I am back in Richmond, my mind is filling again with the weight of support raising, insecurities, my current job situation, and my relationships with friends and family.  I am already feeling the "twangs" of discomfort, the tension between what my flesh wants to do, and what the Lord beckons me to do.  It would be easy to give in to defeat and turn desperately to my own strivings.  However, I know how powerfully the Lord can work in the human heart-- He has showed this to me over the past five weeks.  "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31   

Tim, one of our compassionate teachers

thoroughly enjoying my kid time!

the ever-energetic and toe-stepping Robin! (another teacher)

loving on my two fave conflict styles

Air Force Academy 

Goodbye snow!  I will miss you!