Reality Check

"silly" group photo

     I knew it would be difficult transitioning from MTI in Colorado to life back in Richmond.  After five weeks, I had gotten a routine, a rhythm, a sense of safety among the 45 adults and 25 kids at the training center.  Life was a near-Utopia, filled with spiritual affirmations, games, journaling, and all the hot chocolate and Celestial Seasonings I could want!  I conversed with like-minded people who are going through the same mental trials I have been sifting through.  I was given tools that I will use for the rest of my life-- tools that teach me to step outside of myself and humbly, graciously enter other people's worlds.  Most important, it was a month in which I could allow the Holy Spirit to move freely in me, without having the usual death grip I have on my wants,  my plans, and myself.
     There were so many times during training that God revealed His character and Truth to me.  Sometimes it was through my time in the classroom; other times, it was through the honest words of a friend.  However, the Lord spoke to me the most clearly through His Word.  One time that stands out was when the group practiced a Sabbath day, resting and reading scripture.  I dwelled upon Matthew 11:28, 29.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy

and my burden is light. 

      This is scripture that I have read many times over throughout my life; however, it never had much of an impact on me.  It all seemed pretty obvious to me, and I always glossed over it, without really reflecting on if I believed it or not.  During my time of reflection at MTI, I was hit hard with the reality of how much I try to do things my way, thinking it is the easy way.  If I just gave it all up to the Lord, the burdens that have been weighing so heavily on me would be lifted.  I finally got a taste of living under this new reality, and I wanted more and more of it.  

      Of course, it is easy giving over control to the Lord when you are stuck in a retreat center, contemplating life with dozens of other Christians.  Now that I am back in Richmond, my mind is filling again with the weight of support raising, insecurities, my current job situation, and my relationships with friends and family.  I am already feeling the "twangs" of discomfort, the tension between what my flesh wants to do, and what the Lord beckons me to do.  It would be easy to give in to defeat and turn desperately to my own strivings.  However, I know how powerfully the Lord can work in the human heart-- He has showed this to me over the past five weeks.  "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:31   

Tim, one of our compassionate teachers

thoroughly enjoying my kid time!

the ever-energetic and toe-stepping Robin! (another teacher)

loving on my two fave conflict styles

Air Force Academy 

Goodbye snow!  I will miss you!