Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about contentment. It has been preached about at my church, written of in the books I’m reading, and mentioned in conversations I have had with friends. This influx has made me super-introspective of my own discontent, as well as sensitive to the discontent I notice in the people around me.
My pastor, Erik, mentioned that contentment is easier to find in communities that give and receive more freely. I completely agree. Contentment happens when you can accept the grace that has been given to you. When you have been blessed with gifts from those around you in your time of need, you are more willing in the future to give of yourself, your time, and your money. I would so love to live in a society that gives and receives more easily. But if these actions don’t refer back to the cross, it is easy for them to lose any permanent meaning and can quickly fall into discontent. Even in communal living situations, which I deem as the most content and freeing, there is brokenness. I’ve heard of married couples splitting apart unexpectedly, as one desires something new in their life. People argue over ideology and can pass judgment. We are broken people. I guess we are prone to search for that something to mend us.
Growing up, I loved the Sheryl Crow song, “If it Makes You Happy.” The main thing I remember about this song is the music video, in which Sheryl sings at a museum of natural history, among the stuffed foxes and polar bears. She is wearing what I thought was an uber-cool polyester shirt that I would have spent all of my Christmas ‘96 money on to obtain. Besides the video, I always thought the refrain rang true. She says,
If it makes you happy,
It can’t be that bad;
If it makes you happy,
Why the hell are you so sad.
Over the years, I’ve had many conversations with friends who have struggled with depression. I think it is something that everyone can relate to, even if it is on some small level. Those with depression spend so much time in pursuit of what can make them happy. “Happy.” That word is so fleeting. As great a feeling as it is, I try not to put too much stock in emotions. Lately, I’ve been working on being content. Not necessarily happy, but content. I’m trying not to desperately cling to those temporal things that we associate with happiness. For me, those things can look like success in relationships, in my job, good finances, a fit body, the enjoyment of a good meal. With that clinging only comes the uncertain feeling of knowing that these things could easily disappear. I’ve been working on being content with God’s provision and His plan in my life. He gives me grace, and it is free each day. I know that that is all I need. It is just hard telling that to my emotionally-driven psyche.
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