Running and Jumping

     God is gracious to work mightily in spite of my human tendencies.  This whole season of living with my parents, raising support, and facing numerous unknowns has made me become easily discouraged and fall into self-pity.  No matter how many times the Lord shows that He defines me and determines my future, I eventually become neurotic and move frantically to steer myself to a deceived sense of success and self-worth.  Given the ups and downs of this transition time, my level self- esteem has been as unpredictable and as unstable as the May weather.   Luckily, I have had encouragement from various corners of my life.

    I attended the Sudanese worship service at West End Presbyterian Church the other day.  What an encouragement!   I always head to this service with trepidation, wondering if I seem too different to everyone there, too odd to converse with, as my Arabic is close to nil and I haven't even been to South Sudan.  As usual, the congregation there welcomed me with open arms, eagerly asking me to speak about the ministry in Mundri.  I gave them an update and then spoke a short sentence in my poor Juba Arabic.  They all proceeded to cheer and clap! No cold stares or judgement from this group.  Pastor Shangwok Deng opened the service by saying that if we arrived at church dragging our feet, he hoped that the Lord would have us leaving the church running and jumping for joy.  Everyone spoke out in happy agreement.  The message preached at this fellowship is always so bold in faith, so joyful in suffering.  The people of Sudan convict me and encourage me every week to come to the Lord with every request I have-- thereby giving more opportunity to testify to the work of His mighty hand.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.  Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.  Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

Be dilligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.  Watch your life and doctrine closely.  Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."

-1 Timothy 4:12-16

     That same evening, the Lord refreshed me by giving me the chance to hear my friend Nate play with the Jonathan Vassar Family Singers.  They played old gospel songs, ones that remind you of town socials and front porch swinging on summer evenings in Appalachia.  Just watching the enthusiasm and nostalgia radiating from the crowd was enough to keep me entertained!  Kevin, the WEPC pastor who helped set up the gig, made the comparison of this style of music to that of traditional Sudanese worship music.  It made sense-- both have similar harmonies and canons and both focus on the theme of freedom.  These songs put a new joy in your heart, as you reflect on new life in Christ.  It was a good reminder that no matter what is going on in my tangled up mind, all is well with my soul because of Jesus.  

Photo Find

   
    Recently I found out about another amazing photojournalist who works around East-Central Africa.  His name is Siegfried Modola and he has spent most of his life in Kenya.  Here is the link to his website. If you click on specific photos, he gives some great insight into statistics on the location and the work that various organizations are currently doing in the region.  Enjoy!

A Brief Update

All photo creds go to Bethany Ferguson

People have recently been asking me about the final number-- when it comes down to it, how much do I still have to raise? Currently, the magic number is $4,800.  I'm praying that it will come in within the next couple of weeks (and feel free to pray that for me, as well!).  Pray that a generous soul who has a passion for developing nations and for education will be introduced to my ministry and be called to get involved and give.  For those who mentioned wanting to give another one-time donation to my ministry, you can do that here. 

Thanks!

Also, I'm sure that many of you have been growing weary, hearing about the woes of a stateside missionary.  Don't forget that the links to all of my teammates' blogs are on the right side there --->

Their lives in Mundri are so much more exciting than mine. 

Continue to keep me, my team, and both Sudans in your prayers!

Conflict and a Journey Back

BBC News

Read the BBC article here.

Guilt-free Living

   
     It's hard to believe that I have just one month left before I head out to South Sudan!  Although this whole process of support raising has taken much longer than I expected, I had never really imagined what these final weeks would look like.  With the realization of my deployment at hand, I've been trying to enjoy my time with friends, experiencing some of the luxuries that come with living in the States.  Last weekend, Kira (my twin sister) and I went with our best friend Liz to Washington D.C. to see her try on her wedding gown. It was such a privilege to have Liz drive me through the horrific D.C. traffic just for me to get a glimpse of her in her wedding dress.  (She looks amazing in it, by the way.) Her wedding is just one of the three that I will be missing while over in Mundri.
     During our time in D.C. we indulged in some great food at Serendipity, a restaurant that has always been on my list.  We then meandered around Georgetown, shopping at vintage stores and getting those famous Georgetown cupcakes.  Of course, the trip wasn't without a parking ticket and some impulse purchases, as well.

Crab cake sandwich, white omelettes, and sweet potato fries!
(oh yes, and some Cupcake wine)

No TLC stars here today

     I left DC feeling grateful for quality time with Kira and Liz, but heavy, with the weight of guilt sinking deep into my conscience.  I had spent more money than I had planned on this one day outing.  My mind kept going back to my team and my neighbors in Mundri-- "What would they think of all this spending?... the frozen hot chocolate, the gourmet cupcakes!" I had told myself that I was going to "simplify" my life in preparation for the move overseas.  I even had a yard sale, in which I sold all of my superfluous belongings.  That morning, I watched as people snatched up some of my favorite tops and purses for mere quarters and proudly thought, "no more 'trendy' clothes for me.  Just the necessities."

     My sense of guilt in Western living has grown and weighed more heavily on me and I finally decided to come before the Lord with it last night and admit my sins.  Surprisingly, what the Lord showed me was that my sin wasn't in my Western lifestyle, but in my guilt.  I had been walking around for weeks, feeling like I didn't have a Savior, that I needed to redeem myself through my own frugal actions.  What lack of faith that shows on my part! The Lord tells me, "My grace is sufficient for you." (2 Cor. 12:9)  How many times do I try to erase guilt through my own futile actions?  Today, I am again reminded of my freedom, and it feels wonderful.  It has made me excited, eager to spend these last weeks with my closest friends, even if it means going out for a meal or a movie to do it.  Of course, I strongly believe that I need to be a good steward of my money, but only the Lord can cleanse my conscience.       

Hebrews 10:18- And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.