How to Pray

        Recently, the Lord has been convicting me of the little amount of time I spend in earnest prayer.  Living with hordes of other believers, I have ample opportunity to pray aloud before meals, during meetings, or at scheduled prayer time; however, I have failed to dedicate portions of my week or even each day to reflection and prayer.

        I’ve been listening to some sermons on prayer and looking into the prayers of Jesus in the Bible as examples of how to pray.  This time in study has been highly fruitful, showing me the lack of humility in my prayers and my overwhelming lack of faith.  It has also led me to take a step back and pause before asking the Lord every request that pops into my mind.  On the other hand, my heart has also recently been hit with the urgency of prayer in such a needy region of the world. I’ve found myself wondering, “should I pray differently here in Mundri than I do in the states?”        

        This past Sunday I got to visit Melissa’s church, Okari.  This community church is less than a mile west of our compound, away from town and closer to the bush.  It is the smallest but also the most welcoming of the churches I’ve visited since coming to Mundri.  Children and families crammed onto the long wooden benches and smiled at we kawaja (white people) as we snuck onto a corner seat.  Of course, sneaking in never works, and we were made to stand affront of the congregation and give our greetings.  The pastors of the congregation welcomed any attempt I made at speaking Moru or Arabic, but also considered it a joy to practice English with me and make translations during the service.  In my interactions with this congregation there was no hint of doubt, no questioning of the motives of the kawaja for being at their church.  The people of Okari were simply glad to have new visitors.

        The pastors invited John, Melissa, and me to eat with them after the service.  There, under the low-thatched roof of the pastors’ tukul, conversation continued to dwell on prayer.  A guest pastor had preached on the story of Jesus healing the blind man and he kept emphasizing the use of prayer to get desired results.  John boldly questioned that idea, asking when we should pray for something and when we should accept God’s will.  It led to further conversation about motives and heart and even cultural relevance.  After lunch, I left church even more perplexed than I had been weeks ago.  My mind started racing with questions.  How much of my culture impacts how I pray to God?  Is it really okay for me to continue to pray for the things I want?  What if I fail to see some dark, hidden motives in my prayers?  Why am I so hesitant to pray for practical things each day? Is it because I fear that God will not answer my prayers the way I’d like—that I’ll either resent His power or stop believing in it altogether?   So many questions!

        The only thing left to do when my mind is so amuck is to pray.  I prayed for God to give me some wisdom in these matters and He answered that prayer quickly.  I found verses in scripture that talk about the human inability to understand things—how I’m always trying to explain things through a worldly lens. God also showed me many verses on His Fatherly love.  A resounding spiritual gong went off in my head, reminding me that it is foolishness to not go to Him with all of my worries and needs.  Of course, I will make mistakes in how I pray—I will NEVER perfect the act of prayer, as I’m a selfish, sinful human.  However, I can pray for the spirit to guide me in the process of prayer, keeping me more aware of my heart and my motives.   

        That night, my prayer was one of gratitude and adoration, instead of the usual guilt and pleading.  God has given peace to His neurotic daughter who over-thinks things— the amnesic orphaned thinker who places too much emphasis on her knowledge of life in all its wonderful perplexities.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5,6