The Start of Things

         I am finally settled into my new home in Mundri, South Sudan!  Sorry for the delay, but internet service has been pretty spotty with all of this rainy weather we've been having. (Gmail is not very responsive, so I apologize if I've failed to reply to any of your emails!)  It is the rainy season in South Sudan now, which means the grass is green and lush, the air is cool, and the showers feel uncomfortably cold (which I am enjoying now, while it lasts!)  These past couple of days have almost felt like my orientation at JMU, as I am introduced to a new town, to my living quarters, and as I ask questions about anything and everything.  I find myself feeling guilty over needing help with the simplest of tasks, like making coffee or adjusting the seat of my new bike.  However, my teammates have been so gracious to take me step by step through each process.  I look forward to when these things become second nature to me.

     Tomorrow begins my first day of teaching my new pupils, Gaby and Liana.  It has been such a blessing to finally meet them in person, experience their personalities, and talk to them about their feelings toward school.  I am ready for the comforting constancy of daily school life, and they are, as well. In hindsight, I would have brought more decorations for my classroom--- the room is HUGE!  I've tried to spruce it up with a few hand-made posters, but the walls still look quite bare.  I'm going to have Gaby and Liana add some of their own art to the room, so I'm sure that will give it more personality.

    Sorry, I'm not able to post any photos online today.  The internet is too slow.  I'll be sure to take some of my teammates in the next couple of days.  We are having an Olympic-themed birthday party for Liana, in which we represent a country and compete in various events.  There will also be an "exhibition"performed by each of the teams.  I'm still trying to brainstorm what I have to contribute to that.  (Perhaps some dance moves?...)

Thanks for your prayers!  The Lord has been good to bless me with good health and much peace during these initial days in Africa.

The Big Day

Final NYC visit!

Enjoying crepes with Daniel

Slumber Party w/ the Gals!

Dream Phone: who has the crush?!

       I'm stir crazy as I sit to write my final blog post from the States.  Tomorrow morning I will be heading to my new home in Mundri Town, South Sudan!  The past year has truly been one of eager anticipation and buildup to this moment-- almost like that of a bride preparing for her wedding day-- a lifetime of expectations and patiently watching on the sidelines as other's get to experience it.  As a kid, I was never one who fantasized about what her wedding dress would look like or where she would say her vows.  My daydreaming consisted more of me flipping through the pages of National Geographic magazines, imagining what my life would be like if I lived in the Amazon or in Machu Picchu or in a village at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro.  I would stare at the pictures of the people's simple houses, their colorful meals, their foreign but lovely faces, and would pray to God that He would send me to these places that felt more like home than the suburbs of Richmond.  I was always afraid that I would miss God's call-- that it was through some secret sonar waves that only the super-pious had the ability to detect.  If I wasn't doing exactly what I needed to do at exactly the right moment, the chance to go would pass right by and I would be stuck in my neighborhood forever.

GMB Akash

Steve McCurry

Cedric Gerbehaye

Albert Moldvay

Steve McCurry

    The Lord has been patient to teach me of His mighty hand and has been gracious to bring me to a place that I'm so passionate about; however, if I don't continually submit to the Lord's will, I will become disillusioned that my fantasy of missions is not the reality.  A woman in missionary training told us the advice she gave her daughter before her wedding.  She said,  "You are the same person walking down the aisle as you are walking back up with your husband.  Nothing magical changes when you say those vows.  The same sinful tendencies you have in the morning are the same ones you'll have that evening.  The same sinful nature that your husband has before the ceremony is the same one he'll have after."  The same idea applies to those going out into the mission field.  I will not be magically changed into some brave, strong, selfless martyr when I land on African soil.  I bring with me the same sinful nature that all of my teammates in Mundri already have.  I will be impatient, egocentric, self-righteous, and faithless.  My teammates will struggle with the same things.  The best we can do is turn to Jesus to direct our hearts and direct our hands.  It will not be how I dreamed it would be when I was seven years old, memorizing Spanish words from my little dictionary and thinking of how I'd say them to my new friends in Mexico as we hiked with our goats along the trails, eating tacos and wearing bright panchos.   But it will be how God has planned it to be, and He is good.

Paula Bronstein

Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this city, spend a year there, 

carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen

tomorrow.  What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then

vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this

or that.' As it is, you boast and brag.  All such boasting is evil.  Anyone then, who 

knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.

-James 4:13-17

   

A Treasured Reminder

   

Grey Gardens dilapidation

     Last night, I set about listening to a Tim Keller sermon on treasures.  He read from the sermon on the Mount, where Jesus speaks on storing up treasures in heaven, instead of treasures on earth.  I thought it would be a good topic for me to dwell on, as I've been worrying about money in recent days.  Of course, what I plan on learning in a sermon is not always what the Lord has planned, and the Holy Spirit showed me a lot more about my nature.
   
     I tend to have a hard time believing absolutes.  However, when Jesus says, "You cannot serve both God and Money," it is hard to disagree.  Keller mentioned that if our heart is truly resting in God, it doesn't feel like we are giving.  That would explain the tension I have felt in recent days, paying for vaccinations and high-quality sandals and hats.  I have completely failed to trust in the Lord.  Instead of using my giving as a way to joyfully serve my God, I've been trying to save it, giving myself a false sense of control.  Oh control.  When will I ever learn to give it up?

  

     Keller went on to discuss our anxieties and fragility.  (Wait a minute-- I thought we would just be talking about money...) My life is so fragile, so fraught with insecurity, because I've placed my heart, my vision, my treasure, upon things that can break.  I live life riding the ups and downs of anxiety, waiting for the time when these precious things will collapse and I will have to rebuild my life.  Clearly, I treasure more than just money.  And because of this, I cannot love my God as I should.

     Writer David Foster Wallace has some wonderful words on this topic.  Although an unbeliever (who ended his own life back in 2008), he gets the human desperation for things that will ultimately fail.  Ironically enough, it is those things that we cherish the most in this world that make us the most insecure.

 “If you worship money and things — if they are where you tap real meaning in life — then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already — it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power — you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart — you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on.”    

    So how do I fight these urges to worship the transient?  Treasure God.  And how do I learn to "treasure" God?  Start by realizing and believing how much He treasures me.

My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may

have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know

the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures

of wisdom and knowledge. - Colossians 2:2,3

Booked and Booked

Bethany Ferguson's Pic.

 
     I have some great news-- my plane ticket for S. Sudan has been purchased!  On July 10'th I will be flying out with the Greene family.  I'm overjoyed! I feel blessed that the Lord has brought me to this point, the long-awaited time of getting shots and talking to my bank and checking my inventory of African-appropriate clothing.  These are all tasks that I would typically put off.  However, I am currently doing them with such joy.  Thank you all for your prayers and for your faith that the Lord would get me to this point, especially during those times when I doubted if I would get here.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. 

-Proverbs 3:5,6

More Fighting Means More Refugees

Here is a bit of info about violence along the border and the refugees fleeing into the South.  

BBC

BBC News

I complain about having to move to a different part of Richmond-- I cannot even imagine the lives of the Sudanese, in constant movement away from one sort of violence to another. I wish both the rebels and the government could just stop and realize what this is doing to the population of their country.  What a waste of resources and potential.

Running and Jumping

     God is gracious to work mightily in spite of my human tendencies.  This whole season of living with my parents, raising support, and facing numerous unknowns has made me become easily discouraged and fall into self-pity.  No matter how many times the Lord shows that He defines me and determines my future, I eventually become neurotic and move frantically to steer myself to a deceived sense of success and self-worth.  Given the ups and downs of this transition time, my level self- esteem has been as unpredictable and as unstable as the May weather.   Luckily, I have had encouragement from various corners of my life.

    I attended the Sudanese worship service at West End Presbyterian Church the other day.  What an encouragement!   I always head to this service with trepidation, wondering if I seem too different to everyone there, too odd to converse with, as my Arabic is close to nil and I haven't even been to South Sudan.  As usual, the congregation there welcomed me with open arms, eagerly asking me to speak about the ministry in Mundri.  I gave them an update and then spoke a short sentence in my poor Juba Arabic.  They all proceeded to cheer and clap! No cold stares or judgement from this group.  Pastor Shangwok Deng opened the service by saying that if we arrived at church dragging our feet, he hoped that the Lord would have us leaving the church running and jumping for joy.  Everyone spoke out in happy agreement.  The message preached at this fellowship is always so bold in faith, so joyful in suffering.  The people of Sudan convict me and encourage me every week to come to the Lord with every request I have-- thereby giving more opportunity to testify to the work of His mighty hand.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.  Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching.  Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

Be dilligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.  Watch your life and doctrine closely.  Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."

-1 Timothy 4:12-16

     That same evening, the Lord refreshed me by giving me the chance to hear my friend Nate play with the Jonathan Vassar Family Singers.  They played old gospel songs, ones that remind you of town socials and front porch swinging on summer evenings in Appalachia.  Just watching the enthusiasm and nostalgia radiating from the crowd was enough to keep me entertained!  Kevin, the WEPC pastor who helped set up the gig, made the comparison of this style of music to that of traditional Sudanese worship music.  It made sense-- both have similar harmonies and canons and both focus on the theme of freedom.  These songs put a new joy in your heart, as you reflect on new life in Christ.  It was a good reminder that no matter what is going on in my tangled up mind, all is well with my soul because of Jesus.  

Photo Find

   
    Recently I found out about another amazing photojournalist who works around East-Central Africa.  His name is Siegfried Modola and he has spent most of his life in Kenya.  Here is the link to his website. If you click on specific photos, he gives some great insight into statistics on the location and the work that various organizations are currently doing in the region.  Enjoy!